Today has been one of those days. I don’t even know why, I am just grouchy and frustrated. A wannabee super-mamma with a flat tire, running around going flop, flop, flop with every turn of the wheel. I can’t keep up with work and kids and blog and I want to hop into a brightly colored hot air balloon and float alone — without a cell phone, without email, twitter or any form of communication– high above the city of Rome and look down at everyone else, little ants far down below, without anyone being able to ask me anything.
Perhaps my best moment of the day was this morning when the bus was so jammed packed that I hopped off to walk and turned off the crowded Via del Corso onto Via di Pietra to find myself behind a happy-looking Seminarian cheerfully trotting along on the cobblestones, two books in his left hand, a rosary dangling in his right, his robes flapping around his ankles as he rushed on.
Tell me, dear Blog Readers, where else in the world would you see a similar sight walking to work?
At work I was snappy with my colleagues for no logical reason. Sometimes when you work with a news agency, the news never seems to slow down and you feel as though you are on a tread-mill and someone has turned up the speed so you spend your time in a full-out sprint about to fall on your nose because you might miss something or get something wrong.
Once again there were several videos from the Italian Coast Guard of more than 300 immigrants arriving overnight in floundering boats. They were from Eritrea, Somalia, Syria, Egypt, Nigeria and Nepal. There were little children and dozens of women, four of them pregnant. Then there was the funeral for the Nazi war criminal Erich Priebke. Priebke was tried and convicted in 1998 of killing 335 Italian Civilians in 1944 in a massacre on the outskirts of Rome. He was 100. The city of Rome wanted nothing to do with his funeral, and the Archdiocese of Rome refused to allow Priebke a funeral in a Roman church, so today it was held outside of the city by the Society for Pio X, a break-off Catholic group known as the Lefebvrians. At the Vatican the controversial Vatican Secretary of State Tarcisio Bertone was given his goodbye at an official handover ceremony where unexpectedly the new Vatican Secretary of State didn’t show up due to a “minor surgery” according to the Vatican Press Office. So, no major breaking news but lots of items that kept coming at me wham, wham, wham and my tire was going flop, flop, flop.
As I headed home –walking again to avoid the crowded bus and dragging my rolling computer bag behind me, I thought about that seminarian. I bet he doesn’t spend his afternoon driving kids around in a beat up Fiat to gymnastics, chorus etc., he doesn’t have to cook dinner for the family, or wash the dishes afterwards, he probably doesn’t have to walk the dog or scoop the poop off the Roman sidewalk, he probably doesn’t have to nag kids to do their homework or turn off the TV, he probably doesn’t have several growing to-do lists, and I am sure he doesn’t have to worry that he doesn’t have a decent item to wear in the morning, he’s got his black cassock. But then again, I wouldn’t want to wear black every day, I am not very good at hanging out on my knees, and celibacy is really not for me, so I guess I wouldn’t want to be a seminarian, I’d rather be me, so why am I comparing my life to his?? It is because I want to have his jaunty step as he rushes off purposefully to wherever he is going.
Personally, I would rather be a character of my own invention, Violet Vespa, ready to escape the daily stress at a moment’s notice, hopping on her violet vespa and getting away. (See Violet Vespa Blog post) Unfortunately, I don’t have a hot-air balloon or a violet vespa and it is time to go walk to dog, so off I go. I will add “try to be jaunty, peppy and chipper” to my to-do list for tomorrow, and “get rid of that flop flop flop flat-tire attitude.”
I guess all mammas have these days, even in beautiful Rome. Love the jaunty seminarian-you can only find that there ;). Watch for that hot air balloon, it may come in disguise!!
Hmmm, I like the idea of a hot air balloon in disguise. I will keep an eye out for that!
Oh dear- It’s time for you to get away by yourself for a restorative sojourn. I remember well those stressful newsroom days and the demands of being a mother and wife. Trisha- get thee to a spa for a day or two.
Yes, I could use a restorative sojourn. What is amazing to me is that I had a nice break while I was covering the Venice Film Festival the first week of September. I’ve been back just over a month and already my Roman Rat Race is getting to me. A spa sounds lovely but the truth is I need to toughen up a bit and stop whining.
Well, if that’s not a busy Mamma day, then I do not know what is. I agree with Linda – get thee to a spa!
You mention the busy atmosphere in a newsroom. Well do I remember Bart returning home from work at NBC news. I would be jabbering on all about my day – talking about work, when suddenly I’d realize that Bart was not responding to what I was saying; he really just wanted to come home to a quiet house and, as he put it “decompress” after a harrowing day in the newsroom.
I love your opening shot. It really conveys a sense of the morning! I suppose that the seminarian, too has his troubles and hassles too though.
I read about the funeral with interest. A story about it ran in the LA Times. Did many people in Rome feel strongly about it – the general populace, I mean? And who is this group, the Lefebvrians? I have not heard of them. Given that Priebke’s crime was so horrendous and so infamous, I am not surprised that he was denied funeral services. As terrible as the Fosse Ardeatine massacre was, I am even more troubled by Priebke’s unrepentant nature and his full throated denial of the use of gas chambers. I do not know what to say, except that the fact that this former SS Captain lived to the ripe old age of 100 years. There must be so many more out there. They walk among us, Trisha.
Well, you wouldn’t believe it– I left the office as the camera crew was going to cover the funeral and it turned into a huge mob scene with a crowd of about 100 protesters blocking the hearse and the police were called in, the priest had to escape behind the gate, and the whole thing had to be called off. I can totally understand the anger of those people. On top of that, today is the 70th anniversary of the round-up of the Jews from the Ghetto in Rome. One-thousand Italian Jews were deported to Germany and only 19 survived. You can understand why emotions might have been running a little high. To answer your other question, the Lefebvrians, or the Society of San Pio X, are an extreme right-wing Catholic groups led by now-defunct French Cardinal Lefebvre. He was against the second Vatican Council and led a break-off group. John Paul II excommunicated him in 1988. I don’t know if you will remember hearing about this, but Benedict XVI was attempting to bring them back into the Catholic Church fold when he lifted the ex-communication for 4 bishops ordained by Lefebvre– turned out one of them was Bishop Richard Williamson, an outspoken holocaust denier. This caused a massive media flap and made Benedict and the Vatican look very bad. Interesting the Lefebvrians seem to continue their Holocaust denials.
Never a dull moment in the life of a Mamma! I knew nothing of the Lefebvrians, or the specific story of the Cardinal, but I was guessing about their beliefs – that’s why I asked. I do not recall the excommunication or the flap with Pope Benedict XVI. Has Pope Francis spoken about the funeral? I wonder is Priebke a serious Catholic? How could an SS Captain be Catholic given Hitler’s obvious hate and attempts to destroy the Church? Was this perhaps a “late life conversion?” I am not surprised there was a scene. In fact, I am glad the protesters were present. It is good that people do not allow these crimes and the hideous history of WWII to fade away. I certainly hope no one was injured at the protest. Priebke will now face the ultimate judge.
Pope Francis has not said a word, but the diocese of Rome made it clear that he would not be permitted to have a funeral in a church in the city. I don’t think there was anyone actually hurt during the protests but they were quite emotional with people yelling “murderer” and banging on the hearse. The Lefebvrians are a strange lot– never did understand why Benedict was eager to get them back.
. . your seminarian has what most of us dismiss or only half believe – that it can only get better in the afterlife!
Ha! You are right, he definitely has that.
Dear Trisha
Why oh why are you walking the dog ?? I think it was a few other people in the household that wanted a dog…..you already do sooooo much, this is exactly the reason I give to Daniela I know it is me who will end up on walkies duty. Love the hot air balloon pic such a great idea. XXXX
I keep on asking myself that. I didn’t want a dog, I said I wasn’t going to care for it, but my husband is always travelling and the dog needs to go out early in the morning and late in the evening — and I cannot send the girls out by themselves in the dark. So, I go. I knew it would be this way. And the bummer is that the dog is getting really attached to me because — he’s no fool– he’s realized that at the end of the day, I am the one who always feeds him and walks him. SIGH!!! Conclusion: There is one fool here, and that is ME!!
Oh, Violet, how I do understand the feeling of being overwhelmed. And life is, when all is said and done, not a manageable thing. It comes is waves, sometimes huge ones, sometimes soft ones, sometimes storms. The seminarian is in the Violet Vespa stage of his fantasy, the school years. I think they help us store up hope for ourselves, as well as information. But he will have his weekends, as I have had, with five funerals in three days, plus Sunday services. He will have days when angry parishioners scream at him, and when his heart is broken by the tragedies he must deal with. All of this you know. And your balloon is breathtakingly beautiful! Soar away in it for a while, go down near the river in a sweet spot and take back an hour of your life, breath deeply, take in the day at hand and let the world go.
Five funerals in three days plus Sunday services. Gosh, that sounds overwhelming. I don’t know what I am complaining about. How discouraging. Yes, we all need hot-air balloon once in awhile to soar away. Thank you for your understanding and kindness.
Oh Trisha I wish I could have that bright balloon land at your feet and whisk you away. I’m sorry I totally missed this post and yes it’s getting harder and harder to keep up with everything I expect of myself. No matter what I do I always feel I should be doing more, or just doing something! To stop and do nothing at all….hmmm that would be nice x
I love your chap with the rosary and books, and his jaunty step….good for him and happy that he gave you a moments pause xx
ciao and be gentle on yourself and don’t you love that those who get the pets never actually look after them….multiple guinea pigs, mice, rabbits, and now we have adopted the local dogs ha ha xx
Thank you Lisa! Even though you and I lead very different lifestyles I think we are equally busy and bogged down with lots of work and family responsibilities– and then we add our blogs and writing ambitions on top, and a few animals on top of that….Yikes! Basically I like leading a busy life and the chaos of kids (and now dog), but sometimes I need to escape!
Well I think you are amazing! I have plenty of days too when I want the world to stop, when social media and keeping it all going just gets too overwhelming and when I just want to get off the roller coaster and lie under a tree somewhere where no one can find me! Its the push /pull of loving being busy and communicating and creating and the flip side of it all being too much sometimes. I love a good vent and often that in itself makes you, feel better but I think tomorrow you need to take the long way home ( maybe via a cafe!), channel the seminarian and turn your phone onto silent for a bit!! Love and hugs from me xx
Thank you Sarah, that is so sweet of you and it makes me feel better to know I am not the only one who gets a thrill out of being busy and communicating and then sometimes just gets overwhelmed and wants to escape. I really appreciate your comment.